SHE SOARS

Be a Sexpert: SHE SOARS live edition

• CARE Canada • Season 4 • Episode 2

Share episode

Youth Champions, Shreya, Olivia and Lauren get together in person at THAT Toronto Podcast Studio to record a special campaign edition of the podcast: Be a Sexpert! They recap the youth-led advocacy event they just launched at Toronto Metropolitan University to test students’ knowledge in a sexual health trivia game. The Youth Champions discuss surprising stats around declining condom use among youth, stigma around testing for STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections), the real meaning of consent, and more! They share real youth reflections and ask the hard questions on the status of youth sexual health in Canada, while also asking how we can all be more engaged global citizens. Don’t miss this relatable in-person conversation, packed with information and insights to become a true Sexpert. 

Check out our new sexual health hub to learn more: care.ca/sexual-health-hub

SHE SOARS, funded by Global Affairs Canada, is the Sexual and reproductive Health and Economic empowerment Supporting Out-of-school Adolescent girls’ Rights and Skills project. Learn more at: https://care.ca/shesoarsproject

Episode transcripts are available in French and English at: care.ca/shesoars.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in the SHE SOARS podcast are the speakers’ own and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions, standards and policies of CARE Canada. The SHE SOARS podcast is a youth-led initiative that provides space for young people to discuss global Sexual and Reproductive Health and Rights with the purpose of raising awareness in Canada. Listeners acknowledge that the material and information presented in the podcast are for informational purposes only and do not constitute advice or services. The podcast is for private, non-commercial use and speakers do not necessarily reflect any organization they work for.

[00:00:00] Paniz: Hi, and welcome to SHE SOARS. Her voice. Her rights. 

[00:00:05] Jacqueline: We are CARE Canada's Youth Champions, a group of young people across Canada who are passionate advocates for Sexual and Reproductive health and rights (SRHR).

[00:00:13] Paniz: We're excited to discuss and raise awareness about young women's rights and choices in Kenya, Uganda and Zambia. ​

[00:00:18] Jacqueline: Together, we will explore how these global issues connect to our lives as Canadian youth and discover ways in which we can all take action. 

[00:00:26] Paniz: We will also talk about the SHE SOARS project, which improves access to health and education, which are areas we want to see change in. Join us!

[00:00:36] Shreya: Hello and welcome to the SHE SOARS podcast. My name is Shreya and I'm one of the co-hosts today, and I am here joined with my lovely other co-hosts, Lauren and Olivia. And you might see that this format is a little bit different today. We're finally in person and meeting all of each other.

[00:00:55] And before we begin, let me tell you a little bit about ourselves. So again, my name is Shreya and I am a student at the University of Waterloo studying environment, resources and sustainability and minoring in entrepreneurship. And I'm one of the Youth Public Engagement Champions (YPEC) with CARE Canada.

[00:01:09] And we are a group of six youth from across Canada doing sexual and reproductive health advocacy to make sure that young folks know about their rights, what the global context is with that as well, and where we are progressing on those goals. And the way that I started on with this work is I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) when I was 17-years-old and I was also diagnosed with diabetes.

[00:01:36] And it was a very crazy time in my life where I had no idea like anything to do with my reproductive health, anything to do with rights or progress on any of those health issues as well as research in that space. And as I started to learn more about my own health, it was a lot of self-studying through social media and then talking to hundreds of doctors and never really finding any solutions.

[00:01:58] And I wanted to change that and advocate for that cause. So that is kind of how I got involved with CARE and started on the SHE SOARS project. What about all of you? 

[00:02:06] Lauren: I'm Lauren. I'm from Kamloops, British Columbia. I go to TRU (Thomson Rivers University). I’m in fifth year now actually, a BA (Bachelor of Arts) student majoring in English and minoring in sociology. Outside of sexual and reproductive health, I am really passionate about critical race theory and social media in general. I love to run the account for that page as well as the CARE Canada one with you guys.

[00:02:32] Olivia: Awesome. So my name is Olivia and I really first started getting involved in different advocacy work when I was quite young. So when I was 9-years-old, I actually had my first event around International Day of the Girl. I sold cupcakes. I was so excited and it was all around getting and raising awareness about girls having more access to education. And that sparked my advocacy journey and it's kind of changed and developed across time. So in high school I was doing a lot of mental health based work and a lot of youth leadership work.

[00:03:02] And then in university I had an experience where I got my period unexpectedly one day in a course lecture and I had to go home because there was no accessible menstrual products on my campus. I was so upset at the time because it shouldn't be a barrier for anyone in any space they're in or to have to leave a space because there are no accessible menstrual products. So I kickstarted the menstrual equity project at my university and we now have free tampons and pads in a bunch of different bathrooms across campus. And we also have free reusable menstrual products for students.

[00:03:31] And then as well I have been very involved in my campus sexual culture committee. So we organize Bishop’s largest student protest every year against sexual violence. And we do a lot of sexual culture work around inclusive sexual health education because sexual health is not a one time event. It's not one time you learn it all. It is continuous throughout people's lifetimes. And as we continue to grow and shift as a society and sexual health becomes more prominent and more acceptable to talk about, there is a lot of stigma that we all have to reduce. I just think it's such important work and I love doing it.

[00:04:12] Shreya: Yeah. Oh my gosh, I agree. I think one thing that you just said that stuck out to me was that sexual health is as important as just your general health and wellbeing, like understanding why you get the flu and how to soothe that is as important as understanding your sexual reproductive health too.

[00:04:27] Olivia: If you broke your leg, you wouldn't just tell someone to suck it up or Google what they would do. Yeah. You go and seek out professional help, healthcare professionals. So with sexual health, mental health and physical health, I think everyone should be making informed decisions for what is best for them. Absolutely. 

[00:04:42] Olivia: So why are we in person Shreya? Why are we here? 

[00:04:45] Shreya: Okay. Well, since we have a different format today, the reason that we're all finally in-person and you get to see the upper half of our body is because we had an event today at Toronto Metropolitan University. We all flew out from across Canada, or trained out I guess, from across Canada to do advocacy and to speak with young Canadians that are aged 18 to 24 and talk about what their understanding is about sexual health and reproductive health. And we all gathered to host a Be a Sexpert event to encourage young people at Toronto Metropolitan University to start talking to their friends about sexual and reproductive health.

[00:05:28] So we had a huge activation that we organized where we had a cash booth and we had like all these tickets flying around and people could step inside and really be immersed in that experience. We had quizzes, we had all this trivia and like a whole wheel that people could spin to chat about stuff as well and really just get a conversation going.

[00:05:46] So it was a very exciting event that we all got to be a part of. And we have so many different stories that we want to share and the lessons learned from that whole experience that I just really want to dive into today. 

[00:05:59] Olivia: Yeah. So a lot of students, because the activation had the inflatable cash booth and it was like a very prominent table, it really drew a lot of people to the event who just wanted to watch and see what was going on. So there were some times where I would go up and ask people and start to chat with them about what was going on. And it was really interesting for me to reflect on how a lot of the conversations I have around sexual culture and sexual health [have been] with other youth who are equally as passionate or interested in the field.

[00:06:27] So whether it's at a committee meeting or a YPEC meeting, the ideas and conversations we're having are always like, “Oh, that's so cool. Or what about this? What about that?” Where sometimes when reaching out to these youth to be like, “Hey, do you want to come to our Be a Sexpert activation or do you want to come join in?” It's like you said the word 'sex' and people go, “Oh my gosh.”

[00:06:43] Like you could see for some people it was very uncomfortable. Yeah. And obviously I never want to make anyone uncomfortable so they would be like, “No thank you, I'm not interested.” But you could kind of see people at first maybe be interested, but see them have to be like, ‘Okay, I'm stepping out of my comfort zone.'

[00:07:00] And at the event there was like a camera crew and things like that so maybe some people just aren't comfortable being filmed having these conversations. But yeah, I had a lot of really awesome conversations with a lot of different youth today for sure.

[00:07:13] Shreya: So one of the biggest things that I found interesting was all the trivia questions that we had. So while the whole cash booth was going on, we were walking around asking people questions, saying, "Hey, what do you know and what don't you know?" And there was a lot of fear whenever we were walking up to people with the thought about, ‘Oh my gosh, trivia.’ Like there was a certain element of fear of not knowing about this topic and being worried.

[00:07:37] So I remember the tons of statistics that we were throwing out, things that I didn't even know. I think for me what stuck out was the statistic about condom usage. So I felt like that one would be the most relevant. We were giving out condoms so I thought that it would be interesting to bring it up.

[00:07:51] In 2020 the average usage of condoms was 53% and that number in 2024 has dropped to 24%. That is more than half. 

[00:08:03] Olivia: Mind blowing. I don't understand how this isn't more of a prominent conversation. 

[00:08:08] Shreya: Yeah. And I saw so many people's eyes go like, ‘Wow, I didn't know that.’ And I was like, “You get a condom! You get a condom!” It was really crazy. I think actually one of the biggest reflections for me was the amount of men that walked up to us.

[00:08:21] I feel like there was surprisingly a really large number compared to what I thought. And also a lot of them [were] super comfortable to come up in groups. I was actually really shocked at that because the expectation I walked into was like, we’re going to get groups of friends for sure, but I did not expect so many groups of men to walk up. So I was really excited by that. And they were learning a lot. I had this one group that walked up and I asked them a question about emergency contraceptives and the morning after pill, sometimes frequently referred to like Plan B.

[00:08:50] And just understanding when you can take that pill. And some people thought you were supposed to take it before sex. Some people thought you can take it whenever just as long as you take it. And so learning that you can use it up to three days after and then that efficiency is not there is like really significant.

[00:09:06] It was a really big learning moment for them. And I think seeing those like, ‘Wow, I did not know that so I need to research more about it.” Those sort of feedback pieces were really meaningful to me at least. 

[00:09:15] Olivia: I had a similar experience. I found that the statistic about condom usage was one question that people got wrong almost every time. Because they were like, “Oh, that's true. Condom usage has been increasing.” And I found that really interesting that the assumption is like it’s a continuous curve upwards of things around Sexual and Reproductive Health and Rights always getting better.

[00:09:33] When the truth is that Canada has regressed a little bit in those statistics. And not only the condom usage but also another trivia question is that Canada is the G7 country that has the highest HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) rates that are increasing.

[00:09:48] So that was something that a lot of people made assumptions about that HIV rates were diminishing or almost non-existent. When that is really far from the truth. So it definitely raised a lot of great conversations around that. It's just really interesting to see the assumption is that we're doing really well in the area of sexual and reproductive health and that things are like 'getting better' because what does that even mean? But Canada still has a lot of work to do in this area for sure.

[00:10:18] Shreya: Oh for sure. Any of those questions that were talking about knowledge in this space like everybody was getting wrong across the board. There was even a question that we had about how often youth actually go to do STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection) testing from ages 18 to 24 I believe.

[00:10:33] And that statistic was 70% of youth in Canada have not. Right? And so when I would ask people this question, they would be like, “Oh no, for sure, we definitely do.” And then they would get the question wrong and their friends and them would look at each other and they're like, “Wait, have you ever done an STI test though?”

[00:10:48] And they're like, “No, I haven't.” And then the other person would be like, “Yeah I haven't either.” We believe that this is increasing, but we ourselves are not doing it. So it’s interesting to see like I wonder why people would think that other people are, if we ourselves are not.

[00:11:00] Lauren: Well, I feel like it's really accessible now too. Right? Like you can just go, you don't even have to go to a doctor. You can just go online and book one at any clinic near you. And the thing for me is that whenever we would answer the questions or give people a negative answer, like the HIV rates going up or condom usage going down, nobody really seemed super surprised. They just seemed kind of disappointed, you know? And it makes me wonder, why is this happening? Is it something in schools that we need to learn more about? Is it just like holding each other accountable more?

[00:11:38] Olivia: Yeah. 

[00:11:40] Shreya: Well, I guess another thing, STI testing, specifically that one really stuck out to me because I think a lot of young people if you're going to get an STI test, it's like with the intention that, ‘Oh, I might have an STI or I have been having unprotected sex, like maybe I should go.’ But the general, thought never comes up because also I don't think people know what an STI test actually looks like. Like when I went to go get a test, it was like a 12-second swab and it's like done. That was it.

[00:12:09] Lauren: That's really interesting because I got a blood test for mine.

[00:12:12] Shreya: Yeah, you know what I mean? I think a lot of people think that it might be a lot more scary than it actually is. And even just the understanding of how you get an STI. Like we don't just get STIs through having sex. There are many different ways that we can get them. There are so many that remain dormant too. 

[00:12:28] Olivia: Yeah, one hundred percent. That is a really common misconception with STIs is that people are very quick to be like, especially with our generation, ‘I'm clean.’

[00:12:37] Okay, so you got an STI test and it came back negative or you don't have any symptoms? Because the most common STIs that are transmitted among young Canadians have no symptoms. So if you have had unprotected sex with someone, I'm going to look right at the camera when I say: If you have had unprotected sex with someone, you might have an STI.

[00:12:54] So you have to get a test. Being like, ‘Oh, I don't have any symptoms or I'm okay because this person said I'm clean' is not an STI test. That is not the same as going to the doctor or a clinic or getting some type of bill of health that says you are clean. And that is where a lot of the misconception comes in is that STIs are being made up to be this big scary thing. Or if you have an STI that it's one of the ones that are more rare that have really extreme symptoms, when you can have an STI and have no idea. 

[00:13:24] Lauren: Yeah. And it's not just for your future partners, like you should do it for yourself. Right? It gets worse over time, a lot of them. And I mean, nobody's going to judge you. Right? Like when you actually go get it done, nobody is going to judge you. They're going to be like, ‘Wow, that person is pretty brave. If anything, they're proactive to go do it.’

[00:13:42] Olivia: Like ‘Look at them go, they prioritize their health.’ Yeah. Wow. But I do think it also comes back to this idea that STIs are so stigmatized that people are quick to identify it as an issue that would never impact them or people in their circles.

[00:13:55] So I definitely do think it comes back to just that awareness piece. And as soon as you have even entry level conversations or some of the trivia questions we were saying, you could see like the cogs turning for some people who were like, “Oh, no one ever taught me that” or “I never knew these things.” Yeah, it was super interesting. 

[00:14:14] Shreya: Yeah. We also had a really interesting conversation where we talked about the lack of condom usage. And then somebody asked, “Well, why is that?” And I think there are a bunch of reasons. First being, there are so many different options for contraception that people think that if they just check one off the list then that means they're protected and that we're safe. But like none of those methods are a hundred percent foolproof, you know? Combinations of them are necessary in order to keep yourself safe and keep yourself protected. Like you can be on birth control but also using a condom.

[00:14:46] It's not an exact science where it's like you're not going to get pregnant at all or you're not going to get an STI or whatever else. I think we already had very little understanding of this space in general and now we have so many different options that like there is not enough research and time being put into all the different ones.

[00:15:00] People think it's one and done. “I'm good, I'm safe and I won't have to worry about this issue.” I think that that was a conversation that was started with many folks and they were like, “Oh my gosh, I never thought of it like that. I didn't even know you had to actually think about different types of contraception and actually assess those options.”

[00:15:16] Lauren: I feel like so much responsibility is actually placed like on the woman.

[00:15:22] Shreya: A hundred percent. How many times has a guy been like, “I don't want to use a condom?” Many times. Or “It doesn't feel as good.” Yeah. That's also a good topic. We were talking on our way to the studio about what we are going to bring up and we were talking about like sexual pleasure. Like it's fun to have sex. Right?

[00:15:39] It feels good, but that is a conversation that I never had growing up. Especially in school like I was always hearing about guys [getting] wet dreams. Oh my gosh. I'm like, “Okay, what about me? Do I get a wet dream?” Like I don’t know. I still don’t know. Right?

[00:15:53] Olivia: I think that is a really good point though. And when we look at sexual health education and where people are getting most of their knowledge, that was something that popped up for me in a conversation with youth today was that they had one sex ed class in like grade nine, and it was all very health focused and not very much like situational focused, like what to do if this happens. And it totally ties in. Sexual health education is the basis for all of these other issues that we see like declining condom usage or having misinformation around how birth control works. But also just in general.

[00:16:25] There has been so little research done around women's pleasure or people who are born female at birth. There is so little knowledge in that area already and then there are little amounts of education happening that the areas that have less research or less knowledge in them are even less likely to then be brought into these educational spaces. So it's a huge barrier for sure.

[00:16:46] Shreya: Yeah. And when it's not being talked about then there is even more misinformation that is spreading around. Whenever we were talking to people today, we were challenging misconceptions. And I hope people really walked away being like, “Wow, I need to learn about this.” Yeah, a hundred percent. I was telling people, “Condoms, use them wisely! Like make sure you know.”

[00:17:05] Also is this condom even your size? I feel like that's something else that people don't think about and that can lead to them breaking. That might not even feel good because it's going to be very tight or very loose. And yeah, I didn't know condoms had sizes. They're like pads apparently. What? I didn't know that.

[00:17:21] Olivia: Also something we were talking about the other day is around the morning after pill and that there are different types of emergency contraception pills. And it's not one size fits all. It depends on other medications you're on. It depends on your weight. It depends on so many different factors. So a lot of people maybe go and buy like Plan B or an over-the-counter emergency contraceptive and it might not work best for their body. So making sure that there is more information around the fact that there is more than one type of pill. Just like everything. Not one thing is going to work for every person. 

[00:17:54] Lauren: There are lots of different options, like Contingency One or plan B. When I have taken them, one gives me symptoms, one doesn't, or like side effects. And in places like BC for example, you can just go to your pharmacist and say, “Can I have a morning after pill?” And you know, they just give it to you for free.

[00:18:14] Shreya: Yeah, that’s not the case in a lot of other provinces, I don't think.

[00:18:18] Olivia: Yeah, I do understand obviously that every province has its own healthcare and own systems when it comes to sexual health education and when it comes to contraceptive access, but that in itself is still a barrier because what happens when you're in one province is not the same from the next province. And the fragmentation of these different laws and policies for how people access birth control makes it so confusing that it's not all the same or that it's different based on different provinces and territories.

[00:18:45] Shreya: Yeah, I was just talking to a friend in BC and I was like, “Plan B is free.” He was like, “What, it's free? For how long?" And I think that is a really good testament to the silos that we live in because I guess I'm so engaged in this space and this work, I'm seeing those headlines all the time. But people who are not have no idea what those options are and what is available to them. Yeah, that's another really significant barrier too. 

[00:19:09] Lauren: There is also actually four generations of birth control pills. So like when I started I was on the first one. 

[00:19:14] Shreya: I didn't know that either.

[00:19:16] Yeah, now I'm on like the fourth generation. And so because of that, it has got less side effects. And it was like, why wasn't I put on that one at first? Right?

[00:19:26] Shreya: Yeah, wow. No clue. 

[00:19:26] Olivia: Another question that popped up for me that I found was really impactful – as a lot of the work YPEC does with the SHE SOARS project is we focus a lot on the importance of global Sexual and Reproductive Health and Rights – a question that was brought up today, which I think is so fundamental, is why is global Sexual and Reproductive Health and Rights important? Why should Canadian youth care about global SRHR and vice versa?

[00:19:53] Shreya: Yeah. Well for me, I just learned about something called Liebig’s Law. Usually it's used in the context of sustainability and understanding that, but it's basically this sort of theory around thinking of like a barrel of water. So the slates that are on a barrel are what hold the water within it. Right? And so the capacity to being able to hold the water depends on the lowest and the smallest slate.

[00:20:20] So even though there are slates yay high, if there is a slate this big, you're only able to hold this much water. And I think that is a really good metaphor to understand our progress on SRHR advocacy and laws and policies that we have in place. Even if there is one country that is so far advanced and has all these policies and practices in place, if there is another country that is still a little bit behind in creating those systems and those solutions, we are measured by those who are not fully where this other country is at with that. Because in order to achieve that metric of saying that people are educated on this topic and we are progressing and making strides in that we all need to be competing fairly and equally.

[00:21:02] And I think that is a big inequity. There are some countries who are investing time in de-stigmatizing, creating new policies and doing research and investing money in that space. And then there are others that are not, and that information is not really being shared and being spread. And then a lot of people are suffering from that.

[00:21:20] Lauren: And class is also a huge deal when it comes to that as well.

[00:21:24] And like gender, class, race, accessibility. They all have huge influence on what is available to you.

[00:21:32] Olivia: Yeah, and that's the thing too, is why is global SRHR even a thing? Well, people's bodies are the same between different countries. People no matter where they are in the world, we all have bodies. We all have sexual health. Why wouldn't we make sure that everyone is able to make informed decisions about their body? Or they’re able to get access to the healthcare that they need or to be able to be aware of something that maybe we didn't know even existed. Sexual health research a lot of it is very cutting-edge and a lot of knowledge that people have around sexual health is based in stigma or based in stereotypes around sex. So when we make these big discoveries, it makes sense to share with everyone. It makes sense that everyone should be able to access this information.

[00:22:15] Like if your country is a leader in Sexual and Reproductive Health and Rights, why wouldn't you want that information shared to improve the world? And that is another thing that popped up a lot in the conversations I had with youth today is that people think Canada is a very big leader in this area.

[00:22:31] People make the assumption, and maybe that’s the same for different countries, that they assume the country that they live in is like a leader in this area. But when we were looking at different statistics, it's not that Canada is like way behind the curve or anything like that, but Canada is not a leader in this area.

[00:22:48] So I think that assumption is harmful because then people assume that the knowledge they have or the education they're having access to is all [they will] ever need to know. Or this random piece of information I found on the internet is completely accurate, things like that. 

[00:23:01] Shreya: So I think this is a interesting point because today when we were talking to other Canadian youth that are kind of in a similar context to us – we're all in school, we're all in the age 18 to 24 bracket – when you go generally trying to ask people questions there was just a big lack of knowledge. The answer was, “I don't know” or “I'm not sure” but when we spoke to some members of the Youth Advisory Board in Kenya, Uganda and Zambia, and like the project areas that we work, the last podcast episode that we just had with Jeremiah actually was a completely different answer.

[00:23:31] It was actually like a lot of people in my community are engaged in this topic because it affects us so greatly. There are young girls and women who are unable to go to school or have to drop out of school because they're suffering from period poverty. And so when that question comes, “Why should I care?” A lot of people think it's because that issue is not plaguing me, so why should I be engaged in that problem? Here are other folks in different countries who take it upon themselves to not only educate one another and have that continual learning, [but] they really want to spread that message and share that with other people who are not engaged with that movement

[00:24:05] Olivia: One hundred percent. Also so many youth, as you mentioned, came to our booth and came to our table, and there were so many clear gaps in knowledge and education. So even if Canada does have these resources or tools or things we can be doing to support other countries, we're not utilizing them as well within our own country. Yeah. And engaging youth in SRHR is clearly so important just because people deserve to be able to make informed decisions about their bodies, to know accurate information. And that was actually something else that popped up is where people access information.

[00:24:39] So a lot of people shared that after one initial sex ed course in school or one conversation, they access sexual health information online. So I'm interested to know what you guys think about that.

[00:24:53] Lauren: Yeah, well I wonder if it's even decreasing in schools and stuff at this point, because I had sex education in grade six. And what do you learn about in grade six? Like periods and, you know, wet dreams. Right? Literally, like I didn't learn anything about sex. I didn't know what anything looked like, where it was, nothing like that. Like that was all on Google or in books or whatever. I didn't have like my parents tell me that stuff, so where am I supposed to find it? Right?

[00:25:24] Shreya: Yeah. And I think the time when people really start to get sexually active is like this age period. And I feel like I was only learning about this sort of stuff in like late elementary school, early high school, but I should have continually been getting taught it even up until now. We're still having to talk to people about understanding consent and like your term, “If it's not a hell yes, it's a no.” Right? So those are still things that people are needing to be taught and that is not happening within school. So in terms of like social media and how that plays in, I think it's really helpful in starting the conversation.

[00:25:58] And here we are gathered on social media, starting conversations and doing that. But it shouldn't be the place that we stop. It should be the place that we start and we get curious and then we go to reputable sources, we go to our doctors, we ask these questions in our community, to our friends, and gather information and then make those informed decisions. Being able to know all of your options, know everything that is out there and then be able to make your own understanding of it.

[00:26:26] That piece is missing is like what is an informed decision? We think it's just, “Oh yeah, I know what a condom is. I know what Plan B is. I'm set.” No, it's like actually, let's do the research and understand how those things might affect you and how they're very personal and unique to your experience and make sure that you have that knowledge.

[00:26:41] Lauren: And I thought the point about consent was especially important because I mean, you say yes or no like every day, all the time. But for some reason it's so different when it comes to like sex or kissing. And if you don't know what consent is exactly, it can put you in really dangerous situations. Right? Like you can get really hurt if somebody takes advantage of your lack of knowledge or doesn't have that knowledge themselves about what consent is and what is a no and what is a yes. 

[00:27:08] Olivia: So consent by definition is if you are agreeing to have sex with someone or consenting to engage in sexual activity with someone, it's clear that it is freely given. So that means that you're not being pressured to have sex or that someone is holding something over you or saying you have to do this. It is always reversible so at any point you can always say, “Actually, I've changed my mind.” Or “No, I'm not interested in this anymore.”

[00:27:33] And when both people are in a clear state of mind so that there is no influence of drugs or alcohol or other substances. And that it's exciting and fun. Yeah. And something that you want to engage in. We say all these things and people have probably heard that definition before, but what does that mean tangibly? When you're in an actual scenario, what does consent look like? So consent can look like a variety of things. A common misconception is that it's someone just saying yes. It's not just someone saying yes to something.

[00:28:00] As you mentioned earlier, if it's not a hell yeah, it's a hell no. If someone is like, “Yes, okay…” that seems like maybe they're nervous, maybe they don't actually want to. It can look like someone being excited to do something. It can look like someone initiating something and asking, “Hey, do you want to do X, Y, Z?” Really defining what you're consenting to; saying yes can mean so many different things. Like really be specific. And also on the opposite end of things, consent cannot be freely given if someone is intoxicated.

[00:28:30] Or if someone is not excited or seems nervous, which is why it's important to check in and be very clear. And if you can't have clear communication with someone and be like, “Hey, are you okay?” Or “Is this really something you want to do?” Then maybe you shouldn't be having sex with that person.

[00:28:47] Shreya: Yeah, a hundred percent. It's a very big personal boundary piece that you need to do to honour yourself. And you need to have that gut check of like, ‘Is this something that I actually want to do or am I doing this for something else?’ We were having a really big conversation as well on our way here about feeling pressured to have sex just because of society.

[00:29:07] It's like, oh my gosh, the clock is ticking. I feel like I need to just do it now and get it over with. But again, that is not honouring yourself in the way that you should be and like honouring the fact that it’s a choice that you can make and it's supposed to feel like good and fun. And like is it an experience that is positive for you?

[00:29:26] Olivia: Yeah, a hundred percent. And also consent is something that you can change your mind about at any time. You can be in the middle of doing something and someone asks, “Oh, can we do this instead or can we do that?” You can always say no. You can always say, “Stop, this is not it. Let's not do that.” 

[00:29:42] Shreya: And I think a big thing to say about that is it's not a vibe killer. You can a hundred percent say like… 

[00:29:46] Olivia: Consent is sexy. Yeah. I have been saying this from day one, consent is sexy.

[00:29:50] Shreya: Yeah. Like I like remember seeing a video about this. It was like [about] if you're even consenting to kissing someone. Right?

[00:29:57] You go, “Hey, can we kiss? Can I kiss you?” Yeah, I love it, versus it being like a very awkward and weird thing to do. It's not interrupting anything. It's actually making it more pleasurable, especially for women. I feel like you feel way more comfortable if somebody says, “Hey, can I do that?”

[00:30:17] Olivia: Or “this is what I want to do.” Right? It definitely makes the experience much better. And that is what I was going to say earlier when we were chatting is that when we have these conversations around consent, the fact that it's just described as a yes or no thing, or even in sexual health education, sex is so vulnerable. It is so personable. And it is such an intimate experience. So I've never understood why that is the area that society decides to have stigma around. Well, obviously because it is intimate and personable, but I've never understood why that is where we decide to be more vague or not be clearly explicit and be like, ‘this is what X, Y, Z is’ or ‘this is what is going to happen.’

[00:30:51] When we leave it as such a question mark or not actually giving like clear information or scenarios about what consent is, then it leads to people being more vulnerable and having things occur that they don't want to have happen. As soon as we as a society are able to destigmatize sexual health and be able to have these clear and open conversations, we'll see the impacts. We'll see that gendered violence goes down. Sexual violence rates go down because people have a clear and more tangible understanding of what sex is and how things should be working.

[00:31:23] Shreya: And we can only have these conversations and actually advance that once we get comfortable about it first. That's like the first step. In order for us to be able to then advocate for policy and for all these different issues. Like this is a big part of it is just normalizing it and talking about it and being very clear and free with asking each other questions and understanding our bodies ourselves.

[00:31:50] Shreya: I think as like a final thought and the way that we ended the event and the conversations that we were having with folks as we were wrapping up was, “What is one thing, just one thing, that you wish that people knew about Sexual and Reproductive Health and Rights?”

[00:32:06] Olivia: Yeah. So the one thing I wish everyone knew about sexual health is that it impacts everyone. It is not defined by your age or race or class or gender identity or sexuality. Sexual health impacts everyone. If you are a breathing human on our earth, you have sexual health. If you choose to engage with it, to have open conversations with it, or if it's something that you put out of your mind and choose to never ever think about, you still have sexual health and sexual health is still something that you have and experience.

[00:32:37] So I want everyone to know that it is not [just] a woman's issue. It is not only something that impacts people that have a uterus. It is something that impacts men and boys as well. And it's something that as soon as we can have open and honest conversations around we will feel the impact as a society. We will see violence rates go down. We will see the benefit of everyone having equitable and informed information around sexual health. 

[00:33:03] Shreya: Yeah, I think for myself it's always that question of like, why should we care about any issues that are in the world? As people that inhabit the world and that have relationships with others, whether that be like platonic, romantic, whatever, that’s something that we owe to each other is to understand really big topics like these because they affect all of us. Basically echoing what you just said, but what do we owe to each other? And like having a standard for yourself of this is how educated and informed I need to be to be a person that engages with other people and yeah, like experiences emotions with other people and has relationships with other people.

[00:33:46] You have a kind of responsibility to be aware and to be engaged and we did a really good or you did a really good op-ed about this, about what a perfect society would look like, and that to me would look like everybody engaging because they should because this is a problem that affects their brothers, their sisters, or moms, or uncles. It affects everyone. So same thought. We are all global citizens.

[00:34:12] Lauren: Yeah. I think what is important for me that I wish everybody knew is that they can advocate for themselves. You have to advocate for yourself. You know, there are so many different resources and options available for you and your unique body, but even if you're scared or don't know what to do there are other people who can help you. And you do have support no matter where you are and whether it's like your counselor, like a doctor, your family, your sister, your brother, you know, we can all help each other with that and we can all advocate for each other. 

[00:34:48] Olivia: A hundred percent. So on behalf of YPEC, we want to extend a huge thank you to Public Inc. who helped us with our event today. We also want to thank all of the youth that came and engaged with us. Every vulnerable moment you had with us or every fact that you were surprised about helps inform the work that we do. So we're able to continue to strive for more inclusive and a better understanding of global Sexual and Reproductive Health and Rights. And thank you so much for tuning in today for our podcast episode.

[00:35:14] Shreya: We also have a resource hub now available. So if there is anything that you wish that you knew, we have a hub dedicated to all the different resources that we all utilize to help us understand these issues a little bit better. And just remember that we have continual learning to do. We don't just research it once and then never touch it again. We're always evolving and so that's like our space and way of making sure that people stay engaged. So feel free to check that out and then make sure to tune in to our future episodes and let us know if there is anything that you wish we talked about.

[00:35:46] Olivia: We can't wait to hear from you. 

[00:35:47] Shreya: And be sure to follow us @CARECanada on Instagram and to check out our resource hub, click the link in the bio. Thank you so much for tuning in today. Bye!

[00:36:00] Jacqueline: Thanks for listening to SHE SOARS. If you liked this episode, please share it on social media, connect with us in the comments or give us a like.

[00:36:06] Paniz: Make sure to catch our next episode by subscribing to our channel and following us wherever you get your podcasts.

[00:36:12] Jacqueline: Follow @CARECanada on Instagram for updates on our show and the project.

[00:36:17] Paniz: SHE SOARS stands for Sexual and reproductive Health and Economic empowerment, Supporting Out-of-school Adolescent girls’ Rights and Skills in Kenya, Uganda and Zambia.

[00:36:27] Jacqueline: The project is funded by Global Affairs Canada. Check out our global partner organizations: The Center for Reproductive Rights and Restless Development for even more project updates. 

[00:36:36] Paniz: Thanks again for listening. Until next time!